Gross

Here I am sitting in my living room, playing with the babies, and I look to the side into the mirror.......... UGH. I hate the feeling when you think, 'well I have done pretty good, I mean I was close to 200 pounds 4 months ago, lol'. I fit into my jeans therefore should look close to what i did, I have lost all the baby weight, but its NOT the same. Denial??

I know I don't eat right and I don't exercise, so what did I expect, right? I guess I expected the lack of sleep, lack of food, chasing kids, and not sitting down, might help me out a bit... How can your body be 'pre-pregnancy' weight and not look even remotely close to what it did??? GROSS is what it is.

I know I have carried 3 children (2 at once), but will it go away? Do I just need to try harder, I do believe it is never going to go back, there is so much skin. You twin moms know what I mean, the skin you tuck into your pants, it even has a name, "twin skin"! Great, it has a name!!!

I will leave you with a reminder of the stretch, lol, it helps me to see how big I was.....

Mom's Poem

Okay so the poem didn't work, I will type it out.

Dear Lord, it's such a hectic day

With little time to stop and pray

For life's been anything but calm

Since you called on me to be a mom

Running errands, matching socks

Building dreams with building blocks

Cooking, cleaning, and finding shoes

And other stuff that children lose

Fitting lids on bottled bugs

Wiping tears and giving hugs

A stack of last weeks mail to read

So where's the quiet time I need?

Yet when I steal a minute, Lord

Just at the sink or ironing board

To ask the blessing of Your grace

I see then, in my small one's face

That you have blessed me

All the while

And I stop to kiss

That precious smile

-Author unknown

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011!!!

Our Christmas was nice and quiet, Santa was good to everyone... Sawyer got a bike, and the Toy Story, Woody and Jesse dolls, I mean action figures ha!! Here are a couple pics.

Happy New Year everyone. How did you ring in the new year? Hopefully not as sad as mine, I was in bed by 10pm :) Just another night around here. Michelle and Jeff came over to help me with the kids, putting them to bed etc, and Jaret worked until 1am.

I think this year is going to be great! I am off of work for most of it, and the babes are over 3 months so it should be getting a lot better now. The joy of watching them, sit up, stand up, talk and walk!!! Sawyer is 2 and we get to potty train!!! YEAH, not... We have been trying it for a bit now, but no luck, he sits on it because it is fun, but not interested in doing anything in it!

As for me????? who knows, a lot of character building I guess, ha. Jaret and I are going away for a night for Valentines day, this is something we do every year, and hopefully will be able to continue this year.

I must say that Peyton and Grayson are sleeping great! They eat at 9:00pm and go down right after, and they are waking around 5am, (between 4:30 and 5:45am), it is so nice!!!! Not that I did anything to make this happen, they are just good sleepers I guess...

Their routine is coming together, and life is getting easier...

I found this poem that sums up a moms life, I thought it was cute.

Guilt

I am sitting here thinking of something else to write about, something other than my kids..... It's not working. This is my life, they are my life 24/7, I will get to be selfish and do things for me again in about 4 years?? Doesn't matter, I love it! Most of it, this is what I am going to talk about.

I know with parenting comes a lot of guilt.... I never felt this way with my first, but then the twins come. I have a lot of guilt, about the time I don't get to spend with each of them, and lack of time with Sawyer. When Sawyer was a baby, I spend every moment with him and LOVED it! Watched him sleep, played with him, laid on the floor and talked to him, just spent a lot of one on one time. This time around it TOTALLY different, not only did I introduce one baby to him, but two :( so now mommy can't spend all her time with him, but either can daddy.

These babies have had a rough start and are still going through stuff. They cry all the time..... Peyton cries 90% of the day, and when I say cry I mean SCREAMS. Grayson is a little better. They both want to be held all the time and even that doesn't settle them. Sawyer often says "mommy put Peyton DOWN" poor guy.

So there is one guilt of mine, and then there is the fact that I can't spend the time I want with each of the twins, not like I did with one. Basically I try and feed and settle so I can tend to Sawyer or do the dishes, laundry, bottles etc. Then the last few days I have been on the verge of a mini meltdown ;(, I think all the screaming, and holding a baby is getting to me. I know it sounds great to hold a baby all day, but sometimes you want to go to the bathroom, lol, or eat once in the day!

The other day I was talking to my friend Jenny, and she said she wanted to take the babies overnight for me. So we took them to her yesterday and it was their first sleepover!!! Good news is I missed them, and so did Sawyer, he kept asking "mommy where babies?" and whining that he wanted them back. Jenny is an amazing friend who would do anything for us, she is one of the few people I would let have a sleepover with my babies....

We had a day with just Sawyer, we went out for dinner and went visiting. And best of all I slept through the night, I did wake a lot but I didn't get out of bed!!!! So nice! It is amazing how much more time I have.... we are going this morning to pick them up, hopefully she had a good night too! Thank you so much Jenny!!

That is all for now, hopefully I will be able to blog about something else soon.....CHRISTMAS!!

Praise and Thanks!

This was a big week in the Davidson household....

Jaret completed his 10 week training course for Corrections, graduation was yesterday! He did very well, he completed it without any strikes against him, meaning he didn't fail any tests! He is excited to have that behind him and starts work Monday! We are so proud of him! This means that we will have 'Daddy' back in the evenings and overnight (depending on his schedule, but definitely more than he has been). This also means my mom gets to have more time off :) at least doesn't have to do midnights with me anymore!

Which leads me to my next point, of THANKS. I just wanted to say a BIG thanks to everyone who has helped out while Jaret was away. My mom has taken a leave from work to help me out, she has lived at our house while Jaret was away, helping with the babies and housework! My Sister has also helped a lot, has done overnights, evenings and taken time of work to help out aswell, my aunt Donna has also donated her time every Tuesday she does the evening and overnight shift, which has helped a lot and has given my mom a break! I know there has been a lot of other people who have helped in all ways, weather it is giving me a break and helping mom so I can get my hair done, go shopping or sleep, to making meals! Thank you!

I know the help will not end here, but this was the big 10 weeks we were all wondering how we would get though!

Sawyer is sick again :( or still I should say, he has never really got over the cold that he started 8 weeks ago... now he has started a fever and whining again.... Babies have a stuffy/ runny nose, I am really hoping it doesn't get worse. They are REALLY fuzzy lately, they do not want to be put down ;( screaming ALL the time, all day long, it gets pretty frustrating. I am trying to remain positive, so the positives are..... someday I will look back and wish I could hold them all day long, and they do sleep in the night (only getting up once a night!) and that is all I can think of :(

We received the pictures back from Jenna Simpson, they look great!! I will post a few favorites!

Well that is all the update I have for now!

Christmas Spirit

I put my tree up today!!! Pics to come shortly. Sawyer went to the sitters today and the twins decided to sleep at the same time! So I decided (not sure it was a good decision yet) to forgo my sleep and put the Christmas tree up! It looks good, and I am getting into the Christmas Spirit now. I have never put my tree up in November before, but Jaret is not here and my mom is therefore no one tried to talk me into waiting until December. I am waiting for Sawyer to get home and be in aaahhh... ha then start touching and pulling :(

The babies are 7 weeks already??? wow, in a way it feels a lot longer, but for the most part I can't believe they are almost 2 months!!! Crazy! Grayson and Peyton have been going to the Doctors regularly to check on their weights and feeding progress. Yesterday Grayson weighted 8 lbs 14 oz and is 21 1/2 inches long, Peyton weights 9 lbs 4 oz and is 20 1/2 inches long. Both are still on the "special" formula, Nutramigen.... And have been put on Zantex to try again as they are still very fuzzy most of the day :( hopefully it will fix everything, lol.

Off to settle Peyton and once she stops Grayson will start, I think they like the sound of crying/ screaming :)

Happy Halloween

Isn't he the cutest lion you have ever seen??? Okay I am a little bias.