Guilt

I am sitting here thinking of something else to write about, something other than my kids..... It's not working. This is my life, they are my life 24/7, I will get to be selfish and do things for me again in about 4 years?? Doesn't matter, I love it! Most of it, this is what I am going to talk about.

I know with parenting comes a lot of guilt.... I never felt this way with my first, but then the twins come. I have a lot of guilt, about the time I don't get to spend with each of them, and lack of time with Sawyer. When Sawyer was a baby, I spend every moment with him and LOVED it! Watched him sleep, played with him, laid on the floor and talked to him, just spent a lot of one on one time. This time around it TOTALLY different, not only did I introduce one baby to him, but two :( so now mommy can't spend all her time with him, but either can daddy.

These babies have had a rough start and are still going through stuff. They cry all the time..... Peyton cries 90% of the day, and when I say cry I mean SCREAMS. Grayson is a little better. They both want to be held all the time and even that doesn't settle them. Sawyer often says "mommy put Peyton DOWN" poor guy.

So there is one guilt of mine, and then there is the fact that I can't spend the time I want with each of the twins, not like I did with one. Basically I try and feed and settle so I can tend to Sawyer or do the dishes, laundry, bottles etc. Then the last few days I have been on the verge of a mini meltdown ;(, I think all the screaming, and holding a baby is getting to me. I know it sounds great to hold a baby all day, but sometimes you want to go to the bathroom, lol, or eat once in the day!

The other day I was talking to my friend Jenny, and she said she wanted to take the babies overnight for me. So we took them to her yesterday and it was their first sleepover!!! Good news is I missed them, and so did Sawyer, he kept asking "mommy where babies?" and whining that he wanted them back. Jenny is an amazing friend who would do anything for us, she is one of the few people I would let have a sleepover with my babies....

We had a day with just Sawyer, we went out for dinner and went visiting. And best of all I slept through the night, I did wake a lot but I didn't get out of bed!!!! So nice! It is amazing how much more time I have.... we are going this morning to pick them up, hopefully she had a good night too! Thank you so much Jenny!!

That is all for now, hopefully I will be able to blog about something else soon.....CHRISTMAS!!

Praise and Thanks!

This was a big week in the Davidson household....

Jaret completed his 10 week training course for Corrections, graduation was yesterday! He did very well, he completed it without any strikes against him, meaning he didn't fail any tests! He is excited to have that behind him and starts work Monday! We are so proud of him! This means that we will have 'Daddy' back in the evenings and overnight (depending on his schedule, but definitely more than he has been). This also means my mom gets to have more time off :) at least doesn't have to do midnights with me anymore!

Which leads me to my next point, of THANKS. I just wanted to say a BIG thanks to everyone who has helped out while Jaret was away. My mom has taken a leave from work to help me out, she has lived at our house while Jaret was away, helping with the babies and housework! My Sister has also helped a lot, has done overnights, evenings and taken time of work to help out aswell, my aunt Donna has also donated her time every Tuesday she does the evening and overnight shift, which has helped a lot and has given my mom a break! I know there has been a lot of other people who have helped in all ways, weather it is giving me a break and helping mom so I can get my hair done, go shopping or sleep, to making meals! Thank you!

I know the help will not end here, but this was the big 10 weeks we were all wondering how we would get though!

Sawyer is sick again :( or still I should say, he has never really got over the cold that he started 8 weeks ago... now he has started a fever and whining again.... Babies have a stuffy/ runny nose, I am really hoping it doesn't get worse. They are REALLY fuzzy lately, they do not want to be put down ;( screaming ALL the time, all day long, it gets pretty frustrating. I am trying to remain positive, so the positives are..... someday I will look back and wish I could hold them all day long, and they do sleep in the night (only getting up once a night!) and that is all I can think of :(

We received the pictures back from Jenna Simpson, they look great!! I will post a few favorites!

Well that is all the update I have for now!

Christmas Spirit

I put my tree up today!!! Pics to come shortly. Sawyer went to the sitters today and the twins decided to sleep at the same time! So I decided (not sure it was a good decision yet) to forgo my sleep and put the Christmas tree up! It looks good, and I am getting into the Christmas Spirit now. I have never put my tree up in November before, but Jaret is not here and my mom is therefore no one tried to talk me into waiting until December. I am waiting for Sawyer to get home and be in aaahhh... ha then start touching and pulling :(

The babies are 7 weeks already??? wow, in a way it feels a lot longer, but for the most part I can't believe they are almost 2 months!!! Crazy! Grayson and Peyton have been going to the Doctors regularly to check on their weights and feeding progress. Yesterday Grayson weighted 8 lbs 14 oz and is 21 1/2 inches long, Peyton weights 9 lbs 4 oz and is 20 1/2 inches long. Both are still on the "special" formula, Nutramigen.... And have been put on Zantex to try again as they are still very fuzzy most of the day :( hopefully it will fix everything, lol.

Off to settle Peyton and once she stops Grayson will start, I think they like the sound of crying/ screaming :)

Happy Halloween

Isn't he the cutest lion you have ever seen??? Okay I am a little bias.

Busy, Busy, Busy

Just a little update, everyone is still home!!! Thank God!

Peyton is doing well, getting chunky ;) Grayson on the other hand, was losing weight and is slowly putting it back on. His bowels were damaged from the antibiotics therefore his stomach hurts when he eats, and his bum is still raw.... The bowels will just take time to heal. Sawyer is an attention seeker, he has also been sick, so that doesn't help. He is good with the babies most of the time, and is loving getting spoiled from his grandparents.

Jaret is done November 26th!!!! So the end is in sight, although I am not sure I am ready to trade my mom for him. He does not do well with the baby stage, especially during the night :( Ah well he has to suck it up.

Today, my friend Jen is coming over to watch the 3 kids while Jaret and I go to a movie and dinner for my birthday. Jen called Jaret yesterday and wanted to surprised me with it (but I found out:)), she is a great friend!

I am excited for tomorrow, Halloween!!! Jaret and I are taking Sawyer out for his first time, I will post pics next week.

Thats all for now....

All home!!!

As of Monday, we are all home together! Peyton came home last Tuesday, so we had a week with her, then Grayson came home Monday. The first two nights with both babies have been..... tiring. Grayson is still in so much pain (stomach pains, cramps etc.) that he doesn't settle and by the time he gets to sleep it is a short time before he is up again. :( They have both been switched to new formula (by the doctor), which is for babies with an allergy to cow's milk protein, not sure how that is working. Grayson is on a medication for reflux, and on a antibiotic for the next 6 months!!! Yes I said 6 months, ugh, what does that do to a babies immune system??

Sawyer is doing well with the babies, he is very gentle and loving with them. Except when it is bed time and there is "new" people here:). Well, off to feed and then hopefully nap!!!!

So much to share....

Where to start???? So so so much has happened in 2 weeks....

Sunday September 26th around 6:15am I decided to get up, shower and go to the hospital to get 'checked' out because I was having some mild cramps, and i knew my blood pressure was on the high side. So as I got up and on the phone to tell my mom to come over and watch Sawyer, my water broke and there was also A LOT of blood. So Jaret called the Ambulance, my parents came to watch Sawyer, and I was rushed to the hospital. As we got there, the doors were held open, security was holding the elevator, it was like I was a celebrity! Or they really did not want to deliver twins, ha. More to come on that...

We got up to the floor, checked the heart rates, IV, etc. and I was in for a section before I knew it. It all moved very fast, the staff were amazing! Dr. Clarke delivered, Grayson at 8:18am, 7 lbs!!! and Peyton at 8:19am, 6 lbs 7oz!! Crazy to think that was inside me, but makes me feel better for all the complaining I was doing. They are perfect, Peyton went into the nursery for about an hour because she had some mucus. When I was out of recovery they were both in my room!

Come to find out, when my water broke, I had an abrupt placenta as well which means it tore away from the wall and babies could have lost complete oxygen. It is a bit frustrating knowing that the ambulance paramedics could have done a lot more for me. They came into the home did all my vitals in the home, and asked me to walk to the stretcher out side. Which I did, not knowing the effects it could have had. Anyways God was watching over me for sure! The nurses (after the delivery) said I was lucky to have them both here! Thank God..

We went home 3 days later, everything was going great! Until....

Thursday evening we noticed Peyton's colour was a little off, we stimulated her and her colour came back. Then again Friday morning.... so we took her to emerg and the pediatrician admitted her for observation and blood work. When we got to the floor, I fed her and then when she was settled she had another spell. The nurse came in and tried to stimulate her, waved oxygen around her nose and mouth then called CODE..... about 15 nurses came running, calling to page the dr's and a crash cart. OMG the hardest thing I have ever went though and hope to ever go through again. They had to bag her, which is like mouth to mouth, blowing oxygen in her lungs. But she came back around. Then started all the testing, she had lots of blood work, urine catheter, spinal tap, etc. Everything came back negative, which was nice, but need some answers. They started her on antibiotics via IV to be proactive, the Dr. explained it that in babies, infection can start as a UTI and spread to meningitis in a couple days as there is not far to travel. Although nothing has shown up the Dr. still thinks it was an infection as she has responded very well to the antibiotics. She was due to come home today on oral medication. BUT....

In the mean time Grayson had some blood work and urine to check him out, and his urine came back with a germ in it. We retested it yesterday and it still showed, therefore he was admitted aswell and is now on antibiotics via IV. :( So they are keeping Peyton as well until she is done her meds. We are still waiting on Grayson's blood work to come back, and praying nothing shows.

This has been a very emotional and draining 2 weeks, they have had so many tests, bloodwork, urine catheters, LP (spinal taps), and ultrasounds.... poor little guys. At least they are in the spot they need to be to get better, and they are now together in the same room.

Sawyer has been a great big brother, he is very gentle with them, except when he throws his cars at them...... He hasn't had much time with the babies as Sawyer developed a fever and now has a cold.

So that brings us to today... and although I actually had a good night sleep last night, I still wish we could be a family at home all together. Jaret comes home only on the weekends, and we share our time between Sawyer and the hospital.

We are praying that in another 10 days they will both be home and well. Then we can start getting into a crazy routine! Thanks for everyones thoughts and prayers. Here are a couple pics of the babes, they are so cute!!!

New Pics

Here are some updated pictures top ones are 34 weeks and bottom are 35 1/2 weeks.

35 1/2 weeks AHHHHH

So as I am sure you all have heard, I am miserable, ha. I am so ready for these kids to come out of me!!!

Jaret has left for training in Kingston, he comes home every weekend and can come home through the week if he doesn't have a lot of homework. Thankfully I have a lot of help with Sawyer, while he is gone.

Today I had another Ultrasound and they estimated the babies at 6 1/2 pounds each !!!!! CRAZY! It makes me think these babies are ready to be born! I can only pray that my water will break anytime, because I don't think my doctor will do anything until 37 weeks. I know it doesn't seem like long, but everyday feels like a week right now. :(

I don't see my Dr. until next Wednesday but I made a point to go into her office to let her secretary know how miserable I have been lately..... I am not usually that much of a complainer, but when your not sleeping and every part of your body hurts it takes a tole on you...

Okay enough complaining....

Sawyer is doing great! He is talking ssssooooo much, he never stops :) Super cute though, he is very polite, please, thank you, welcome, etc. He is also very set in his ways, and demanding "sit down mommy", I can't think of anything else right now. Everytime I cough or sneeze Sawyer will say "alright mommy??" so cute... He is missing Jaret and it is going to be even more of an adjustment when the babies come, I feel bad for him.

Thats it for now.. I will be putting so new pics up soon, but they are not pretty, ha.

34 week milestone

Well we are past the big milestone of 34 weeks!!! Doctor is happy and said I can go anytime, although she thinks I could last a couple more weeks and obviously would be best. I had an ultrasound yesterday and babies look great, they scored 8/8 each. They both are about 5 1/2 pounds so everyone is happy about the weight. I don't feel any different regarding labour, but I don't really know what to expect because I never went into labour on my own with Sawyer.

I have all these thought about nesting, (cleaning, organizing etc.) but then think of my energy level and decide to sleep instead :( which means things that NEED to get done, aren't.

Jaret leaves for his training course on Monday, so that will be a big adjustment around the house. One I have mixed emotions about... Sawyer will sure miss him around the house as Jaret has been off of work for the past few weeks, Sawyer is getting used to always having daddy home with him.

We have my cousin's wedding tomorrow that I am so looking forward to. I am glad that I will actually make it to it, (hopefully). I have nothing "dressy" that will fit but I am sure I will find something and hopefully blend into the background....ha yeah right.

Thats all for now. Maybe my next post will say we had the babes????? :)

32 week update

Today I went for another (weekly) ultrasound, babies are looking good. On the weekend I went to the OAC and was checked out because I was not feeling baby B move. Turns out they had flipped so much that both babies were transverse (sideways) so I wasn't feeling as much movement.

So today Baby A (boy) who has been breech for a long time is now head down, and Baby B (girl) is breech.... So the option for vaginal delivery is open again.... (more on that in a bit)

The boy weighs 4 lbs 13 oz and the girl weighs 4 lbs 5 oz. So I have about 9 lbs of baby in there, 2 placentas, and everything else..... which is why I look and feel like a whale, ha.

My Dr.'s appt went well also today, the usual blood pressure, urine, normal. We discussed delivery and now that baby A is head down, I can deliver vaginally, once he comes out there is a chance baby B will move, and they can deliver the second breech. However if she is transverse then they will have to do a C-Sec. This is my fear, to have to deliver both ways... So my choice is to have a scheduled C-Section, I am not to sure what I would choose, I was hoping baby A would make the choice for me. (he still may flip again)

What would you choose? She said we would schedule delivery at 37 weeks either way, which I think is way to long to go, ha. I was hoping for 36 weeks, I know it is not much different but at this point... I kinda think my body won't let me go that long anyways, I really don't know how much more I can stretch!

I am getting more and more bracken hicks contractions, they are getting intense but not painful. So my Dr. said not to worry until they are painful, I never went though this with Sawyer so it feels like my first pregnancy where I am not sure I will know the difference. I know everyone says, "you will know" so I am basing it on that. I have lost my ankles!! The swelling is beginning... Dr. said it is fine as long as my blood pressure is good which it is. It is just gross and the heat isn't helping, but I am not complaining.

Well that is my update for now. My next Dr. appt is in 2 weeks, that was my goal from the beginning - to make it to 34 weeks!

Time Flies!!!!

Today marks one of the biggest days of the year for us, here at the Davidson household.

August 27th is the one date "daddy" can't forget and shouldn't!

It was 5 years ago today that Jaret and I got married! 5 years!! I know that doesn't seem like a lot for those married many times that, but it marks a big anniversary for us. What IS the average now???

Also 2 years ago today our first son, Sawyer was born!! Hard to believe 2 years ago I was in the same spot as today, pregnant and ready to deliver! I am really hoping to make it past today though, before the twins are born..... that would be way to weird. :)

Here is to a great day!!!!

30 week update

Well it seems like I have new things happen in this pregnancy weekly or daily.... Lately I have been feeling itchy, I think I mentioned it in another post. Well it hasn't gone away... so I called my Dr. yesterday and she told me to go to the OAC (assessment room on Maternity floor) today, so I was there about 9:30am, they hooked me up to the monitors and took some blood work. Turns out I do have ICP Intrahepatic Cholestasis of Pregnancy which is "Intrahepatic cholestasis of pregnancy is caused by an impairment of bile secretion in the liver. As the bile backs up in the liver, the level of bile acids increase in the bloodstream. These bile acids are deposited in the skin causing the intense itching." The scary thing is that it can harm the babies, and COULD cause fetal death....

I had this with Sawyer, although I was 38 1/2 weeks so they fixed the problem by inducing me. They don't have that option yet as I am only 30 1/2 weeks. I have been given a prescription which can help with my symptoms however it does not help with the effect on the babies. This being said is kinda scary although I am not going to worry and stress over it, as it is not going to help. My Dr has scheduled weekly ultrasounds to make sure the babies are still doing well. I had one today and the babies are just shy of 4 pounds each!! CRAZY they are huge, ha... and everything is perfect, they scored 8 out of 8 each.

Anyways I am home after a long day there and just praying these babies can stay in my belly, and healthy for at least another 5 weeks! Thanks for the prayers....

Pregnancy Pics...

Well I said I would upload some pics..... I have not taken as much as I did when pregnant with Sawyer. As you can see I am huge!! I don't know how I am supposed to grow for another 7 weeks, it must be possible, just not to pretty, ha. I will hopefully take pics to the end and then can share them. I am constantly reminded of Kate plus 8, and her stomach, how it stretched for 6 babies, I can not even image that.... My stomach already is feeling sore and tender to touch, ahhh so much more stretching to come :(

15 weeks

18 weeks

23 weeks

29 weeks

30 weeks - this is me yesterday...... My Dr still wants me to go 7 more weeks, can you believe it???

The day that changes everything...

Yesterday morning I started having some cramps, like menstrual cramps. Nothing major but I thought I should ask my Dr. if it was something to worry about. They went away once I came home and slept. Later that evening my Dr's office called and said I should be checked out. I said I would wait until tomorrow as I was feeling better. Well this morning the same thing, cramping starts again.... So I went to the hospital up to maternity floor (once over 20 weeks you can just go up and be checked), I was lucky that my OBGYN was there that day and she was able to examine me. I am not dilated and stayed on the monitors for almost 4 hours. I have been having some braxton hicks contractions but that is normal for this far in my pregnancy.

My Dr. said no more work at all, I am supposed to go home and rest.... Also not to lift, when I (regrettably) asked what that meant, she said nothing over 10 pounds - so no lifting Sawyer!

On my way out, I am thinking about how much I lift him.... How will I pick him up from the sitters? Can't lift him into the car seat, how will I lift him to his high chair, or change table, or give him a bath.... This is going to be difficult for me, I like to do things myself.

So we will have to do some thinking and playing this weekend to see what will work for us, stools and climbing etc... So that is my update, 29 weeks this weekend so we are all hoping to get to 36 weeks, feels like so far away :( I will post some pics tomorrow hopefully.

28 week update

It is nice to get to 28 weeks for sure, my goal is still 36, which seems so far away :( Not that I have any choice in this matter..... I had another Ultrasound yesterday which was always fun, Jaret is getting bored of them because they do a full anatomy scan every time which means it takes about an hour. So my mom and sister came this time, they enjoyed it!

Babies are doing well, Baby A (boy) is 3 pounds (he was 1 lbs 15 oz 3 weeks ago) and Baby B (girl) is 2 lbs 14 oz (she was 1 lbs 14 oz 3 weeks ago)! This seems like a major weight gain to me, but I have no idea. The crapy part was that the girl has now changed to breech as well :( I know there is still time for them to change, I was just hoping the boy had flipped again but no luck.... So their heads are next to each other, it was pretty cute on the u/s. We again received lots of good pics of the boy, and not much for the girl, the tech lady went back and tried to get more of the girl for us but they were turned into each other. I hope she doesn't hold this against me, lack of pics even in the womb.....:) Thats all for now, I have my next Dr appt on the 16th to get these results.

Sawyer news: He loves daycare, can't wait to get there in the morning and doesn't want to leave at night, which is a bit sad, but for the best! He is talking so much, tries to say everything...... and is getting a whiny attitude :( When you say no he fake cries to get attention. He is obsessed with the movie Cars and also loves to drive his cars everywhere in the house, they do not leave his hands! His birthday is coming up this month, I can't believe it has been 2 years!!! WOW time does fly by, which means Jaret and I have been married for 5 years aswell.... crazy.

Blogs

I follow a number of blogs, mostly of people I do not know. Those that have twins, or are pregnant with twins, it is neat to follow to see how alike our pregnancies are. One of the blogs fills out theses questions every week for their weekly update. So I thought I would copy it and complete it for my update (not weekly).

How far along? 27 weeks 3 days

Weight? Ummm not sure I want to share this.... I have gained 35 pounds :( but I am on track...

Maternity clothes? Of course, even the ones I used at the end with Sawyer are getting small....

Stretch marks? Yes I have many - had some from Sawyer and now have more. Oh the joy!!

Sleep? Not much, I start off okay. By about 12:30 or 1 my hips are hurting so much I can not get comfortable, and have to pee every 1 1/2 :(

Best moment this week? Ummm probably one of my naps! ha Or cuddle times with Sawyer.

Movement? Lots of movement, The boy seems to be more active, which I am sure will be true for a while, if he is anything like Sawyer.

Cravings? Not really, kind of for icy drinks and pop :(

Gender? This we have confirmed 3 times so I am pretty confident it is a boy and a girl.

What I miss? deep sleep without pain

What I'm looking forward to? August 3rd our next ultrasound, and then getting off of work maybe by September?

Milestones: Babies are 2 pounds, which I think is a good Milestone, next to get to 30 weeks!

Emotions: all over the place! Mostly cry, usually 3 times a week. (getting better, it was everyday)

Well that is all for now, another update soon...

26 week update

This past week we had another ultrasound and Dr. appointment... Everything looks great! Baby A (boy) has now moved to breech, so that kinda sucks, hopefully he will move again before too long or there will be no room for him to move. If he doesn't move it will be an automatic C-Section. Baby B (girl) is still head down. As long as Baby A is head down I can deliver naturally, they can pull out Baby B if she turns breech, just as long as Baby A comes through first head down. (make sense?)

Both babies are growing at a good rate, boy is 1 pound 15 oz and girl is 1 pound 14 oz, so just shy of 2 pounds which is great. I have another ultrasound in 3 weeks (every 3 weeks now) to make sure they are both growing at the same rate.

Physically- I am tired... but that is getting to be the norm. My hips and back still ache BUT are getting better with the massage! So I am hoping the more I go the better it will get!!! I feel pretty big, I don't know how I can get another 10 weeks in, will my skin stretch that much? Ouch.

Sawyer is doing well, he is getting the terrible 2 attitude, which is going to be so much fun :(.

He is talking more and more everyday, it is crazy now how much he picks up! He is becoming a lil man for sure, mister independent. Sawyer is also obsessed with the movie Cars, he could watch it literally all day back to back. obviously he doesn't but each time the movie is over he says 'more cars'... It does give mommy a rest for a bit though. :)

Thats all for now.......

Complaining

This is a venting blog, sorry.... Like I have said many times before, this pregnancy is ToTallY different then my last, not sure if it is because it is my second or because there is 2. Either way I am not a fan.

Don't get me wrong, I really do feel blessed to be pregnant and to be pregnant with 2 is amazing! But what a woman's body goes through to make a baby, or two is crazy. A real Miracle, but it does put a lot of strain on the body. So here I go.

It is 7:20am and I feel like it should be 7:20 pm, I feel like I have put in a full day already, my legs feel like I have walked all day. But what is really bothering me is my back/ hips. OMG I have never had pain like this pain. Each step I take it feels like I could buckle at an moment and go down. I know there is extra 'relaxin' hormone in me, so it could be that, or the fact that a baby is sitting on my sciatic nerve (ouch) or the extra weight. Most likely all three.

I have gone to a chiropractor and am going again today, hopefully they can do something, if not I have also booked a massage. I really hope I don't have to go through 12 more weeks of this because I am in tears by night time every night.

My Doctor is going to put me on 1/2 days at work so hopefully that will help a bit....

Anyways I have complained enough, this is my last pregnancy and I want to enjoy it a bit!

All for now. Next one will not be so negative.

My lil man

Sawyer has a friend at the sitters, Lila, or as he says La La La. He always says her name then dances, (so cute) they dance together at the sitters. Well today when I picked him up he managed to tell me through actions that he kissed La La La! He made a kiss noise then said La La La, with a BIG smile. What a little charmer ;)

I heard some good news this week, I do NOT have gestational diabetes!!! The best news so far :) This weekend we are going to the states shopping and am really looking forward to "friendly's ice cream"!!!! Hopefully I will be getting some more baby items at good prices.

Good luck Jaret with Sawyer all weekend, I know you can do it, you will just be tired!

Uh Oh....

I went back to my Dr. for my blood results, turns out I am anemic and have to start a prescription, and have to go next week for a second glucose test because I could also have gestational diabetes (thats the uh oh). I don't know what I will do if I am diabetic, sugar is the main staple in my diet, ha. Oh well I will survive, and hopefully it is just gestational.

Other than that scary thought, the babies look good. Another ultrasound in 3 weeks, yeah!!

Sawyer is doing well, he is going though a dancing stage. Every tune he hears he is dancing, it is so cute.... He is learning more words everyday, and also developing quite the mind of his own, which is not so fun, *wink.

Thats all for now....

The down side to pregnancy

I am now 21 weeks pregnant - and measuring at 30 weeks but that is besides the point.... There's 2 in there!! lol oh the excuses I have. And now for my venting rant... I am feeling all the signs of the "second" pregnancy and the fact that there is 2 in there. SuPeR tired, usually at 1pm I feel like I have been drugged, numb tongue, tingly fingers and my head drops on to my desk, I don't understand what that is all about.... The other major thing is my back and hips, WOW are they shifting like crazy, no sleep at night (or very interrupted) = tired, and low patience.... I know it is only going to get worse. thanks.

I went to my OB Doctor the other day and again tomorrow to get my blood test results, she had only good things to say. The last ultrasound looks good, "these are the best kind of twins to have" which is because there are 2 sacs and 2 placentas, therefore reducing some complications that I would worry about. I will get more info on the last ultrasound tomorrow, like what kind of rate they are growing at. I guess with Twins they can not just measure your belly and assume that they are growing like with a singleton pregnancy. So I have to go for an ultrasound every 3 to 4 weeks to have them measured and make sure they are both growing at a good rate.

I will have to post the news tomorrow!

Thats all for now, I have to go get some sleep...

Ultrasound pics...

Here are a few pics from our scan yesterday. They are mostly of Baby A the boy... the 3D one is cool but kinda scary looking at this stage, the tech lady said it works better when they have more fat on later on.

We are now working on names, although keeping them a secret until birth....

Pregnancy update...

We feel very blessed that we are having a girl and a boy!!!! It was confirmed yesterday at an ultrasound in Kingston, which was very cool because we were able to do 3D if the baby cooperates. Unfortunately we only saw Baby A's (Boy) face, which was very cool. Baby B (girl) did not want to cooperate, she had her face down the whole time.... So already one is going to feel left out, as we only have one picture of the girl, ha. Next time we will be sure to get more of her!

At my appointment this week I also was told the results of my last ultrasound which was great news. Both babies are growing beyond their gestational weeks which is good, we want big healthily babies...

I am 19 weeks now and feel about 25 weeks! This week Jaret and I are both on holidays and are planning to go to the States to get some baby items, and work on the nursery! Hopefully we get everything done :) Thanks for checking in.

Ultrasound!!!

I had my first OB appointment this week, which was pretty exciting. We just went over the same old first appt questions, and was able to hear one heartbeat, as they are moving too much. She also wanted me to go for an ultrasound to see if there is one placenta or 2. We know the babies are in separate sacs, but there is a chance they share a placenta which brings other high risk issues....

So today was the day, we went to see the babes!!! The Ultrasound took about 1 hour as they go over the whole anatomy, not that I am complaining, it was so neat to see two! It was also reassuring to see the heartbeat and they are both very active, (great!). We asked to see the sexes but they are still a little small ( I am almost 15 weeks). I have another ultrasound in 4 weeks which I hope they can give me an accurate reading.

So I have posted a Poll (to the side of the blog) to see what you think, then in 4 weeks I will update the blog and see if anyone is right.

Exciting and Overwhelming Times

For those of you who have not heard... we are expecting Twins!!! I can now say that I am excited about the whole experience, Jaret on the other hand..... will be a little later getting there.

A little background to cover all those questions everyone has been asking. No there are not twins in the family, we had some trouble getting pregnant so we were undergoing fertility treatments. The chance of multiples is increased during this process, although we still did not prepare ourselves for it (since we only had one last time). We found out that we were having twins by regular ultrasound at 7 weeks, they are fraternal twins which means that 2 eggs were fertilized they have their own sac and can be different sex. We left the hospital in total shock/silence, sat in our car for a while discussing how our life was going to change. Having already a 19 month old, our life is going to be busy!

I think the hardest thing we have had to deal with is getting a VAN! ha... I always think of Jon & Kate (Jon & Kate Plus 8) and what their reaction was to having sextuplets, like what did their car ride home sound like? We were thinking/talking,- we have to get another crib, another car seat, stroller, etc. But theirs I am sure was more like - how are we going to survive? ha.

Now that we have had several weeks to ponder, we are getting excited! We have our 18 week ultrasound in May and can't wait to find out the sex (hopefully), keeping my fingers crossed for at least one girl! :)

Maybe now I will be able to blog more as I have more to talk about.... including my size!! Already measuring 4 weeks ahead AHHH!!!!! (I guess it is normal, which no one know what is normal when you have 2, ah well.)

And thus another and main reason we had to give our dog away, we thought he didn't get enough attention with one kid......

Charlie

I haven't blogged in a while, I kinda suck at this... I don't have enough to say I guess, or nothing that exciting happens to me? I dunno..

But here we go, this is a sad week in our home, we have made the decision to give our dog away. Jaret and I bought Charlie when he was 8 weeks old, he is a pure bred Golden Retriever. He was the cutest little puppy ever, he grew and grew and grew and he is still a very good looking Golden! Charlie was my baby, I gave him so much love and attention, it was kind of pathetic at times.

Then we had Sawyer 18 months ago and our lives changed, we got busy and unfortunately we were not able to give Charlie the same attention as he was previously receiving. He has now been with us for 5 1/2 years and become part of our family. So even talking about the topic was/ is very hard, but we have been discussing it for a while and have decided it is in Charlie's best interest to find a more suitable home for him.

We had a couple come and look at him yesterday and they wanted him right away :( They had good reasons, and prolonging it would probably only create more tears. So last night Charlie made his way to his new home, tear.

We feel good about the home he is at, they have 3 kids that are 4 and older, which is a nice change from the torture Sawyer was giving him.... They have a big yard and have been asking for a dog for a while, research was done and agreed that Golden's are great family dogs, I couldn't agree more!

We have received updates that Charlie is fitting in like he has lived there all his life, they have gone for big walks and the kids played all day outside with him. I know he is getting the attention there that he deserves. He is an amazing dog, I couldn't have asked for a better dog.

So although he has left our home, he will never leave our hearts. We love you Charlie.

Life is short

Lately it feels like this has been on my mind a lot... with the tragedy in Haiti, the woman who got hit walking her kids to the bus, and the newest... the missing woman. I pray for these people, their family & friends, and I am very hopeful for Jessica to return home safely. I don't take my life for granted, but this just makes me stop and think how luck we are to have each and everyday. Life is so short and it is scary how things can change so fast.

Favorite pics from the past...

Okay so lets get caught up to date.... Over the past 16 months my life has changed tremendously! We had our first baby, Sawyer, he has been quite a blessing in our family. Here are just a few favorite pics. (I have to learn how to post pics, so what better ones to do it with, ha.)

This is one of my fav. pics from About Image

First trip to the beach....

First Birthday! He loves Sweets

And finally last but not least, another love in my life, Charlie.

All for now.

101 things to do in 1001 days (almost 3 yrs)

Here is my to do list... I can't even think of 101 things, it is really hard. Here is what I have, maybe I will add to it later. Thanks for the inspiration Jenna.

1. Start a Blog

2. Have 5 people follow the blog

3. Learn to cook

4. Make more family meals

5. Read at least 3 books a year

6. Have another child

7. Care less about what others think of me

8. Make a tradition

9. Get in shape

10. Finish P90X

11. Take a hands on photography workshop

12. Get a flash for my camera

13. Take more pics

14. Do more scrapbooking

15. Finish Sawyer's book

16. Get Family pics done (whole fam)

17. Organize the scrapbook room

18. Re-do flooring in scrapbook room

19. re-do basement

20. Finish small details on kitchen

21. Keep the house clean for a month!

22. Win a job competition

23. Start a business

24. Eat healthier

25. Start flossing

26. Print and hang more pics

27. Paint kitchen walls (one wall and touch ups)

28. Make calendars for grands...

29. Get new living room furniture

30. Buy new tires for my car

31. Invest more

32. Create a budget and stick to it

33. Eat out less

34. Visit with friends more

35. Meet a new 'couples' friends

36. Go on a Hot vacation

37. Go on a weekend getaway

38. Go to Vegas

39. Go camping with the family at least 3 x's

40. Stay up for New Years

41. Go to a Party on New Years and get dressed up

42. Have a couples game night

43. Lose 10 pounds & keep off

44. Go to California

45. Have my bank account in the positive for a whole month

46. Make a difference in some ones life

47. Host a dinner party, after I learn to cook :)

48. Get a facial at least 4 x's per year

49. Buy a new pair of shoes each season and not feel guilty

50. Be an AUNT - come on Michelle

51. Take my vitamins

52. Get my child to clean up after himself

53. Build a playroom downstairs

54. Bake a surprise cake for my husband for no reason (he loves cake)

55. Make a DVD of Sawyer's home videos

56. Drink more water

57. Get on a good skin care program

58. Design/decorate a baby room for someone else

59. Go camping with Sawyer in the back yard (when he is a little older)

60. Get my Christmas shopping done and wrapped by Dec 1st.

61. Get organized

62. Start monthly payments to Sawyer's RESP (instead of lump payments here and there)

63. Become a more chemical free house

64. Get rid of Sawyer's soother

65. Learn more on the upcoming stages (potty training etc.)

66. Sponsor a child

67. Clean out basement storage room

68. Go to Lilith Fair

69. Go to at least 3 concerts

70. Work a whole month with no vacation or sick time

71. Read a book on better parenting

72. Go on a cruise

73. Pray everyday

74. Go away with Jaret every Valentines Day

75. Don't use Visa for 3 months

76. Be more patient (especially towards my husband :( )

77. Go to Church at least twice a month

78. Make a New 101 things to do list - maybe make it to 101....

Try to make a list yourself, I would like to see what you want to do in 3 yrs. It is harder than you think, or maybe it is just me.... I will try to check off (in blue) what I get done.

First time blog....

Alright I have finally created a BLOG! Crazy... This was one of my items on my 'list' which i will post later today. I was reading another Blog "aboutimage" and was inspired by her list of 101 things to do in 1001 days (3 yrs). So I am starting by creating a Blog, although I have no idea what I am doing... ha.